Travelers get there early on a Thursday morning, tourists bitch about the lack of parking on a Saturday afternoon.Travelers try new roasts at local coffeehouses, tourists look for a Starbucks logo so they can toss back the same old lattes.Travelers wear fleece and photograph meteorology, tourists complain about the weather while their frozen nipples cut holes through their tank tops.Travelers spot the indigenous fauna, tourists watch other tourists.Travelers put the shellfish back after they’ve inspected them, tourists put them in their pants pocket until they smell like toddler vomit.Travelers research tide tables and dance with the incoming waves, tourists get their Levi’s cold and wet.Travelers visit the Chamber of Commerce Information Center and use toilet paper, tourists pee in the bushes and learn about sand fleas.Travelers take wildlife photos, tourists take selfies.
Travelers pack a gourmet meal with wine they actually like, tourists adopt an intestinal disease at Mo’s.Travelers spread out a blanket and linger until the sunset, tourists form a frustrated line of vehicles all the way back to Portland on Highway 26.